I began my journey into healing from addiction in 1985. It would be almost 20 years before I would find my way to the Heart of My Yoga although many of the teachings that I had throughout that time could be traced to the place where I arrived home with the lineage of Krishnamacharya. Ironically, my first yoga book was from a student of Krishnamacharya.
When I finally met TKV Desikachar in San Francisco of 2005, I knew I was where I needed to be. I loved the playfulness amongst the family members as well as the breadth and depth of the teachings. That December I traveled to Chennai, India to study with the senior female teachers at Krishnamacharya Yoga Mandiram. One thing I’ll always remember is how I felt in the presence of Mr. Desikachar or Sir as many called him. I felt special as if he were speaking directly to me and I felt I was on purpose living my dharma.
I wasn’t a close student; in fact, my teachers were students of his son, yet I felt connected. One time Sir came up to me and told me that he was glad that I was there. The way he looked into me, I believed him. When I read of his passing, I was startled by the emotion that I felt. I even questioned why I would feel such a loss. But it doesn’t matter why, I did and I do.
I teach students using my favorite book written by Desikachar, The Heart of Yoga.
I love this book for helping students grasp deep concepts about themselves through a yoga practice. It took me many years to develop an ongoing practice and still today I have the guidance of a teacher. Having practiced yoga for over 30 years, I know that it’s about perseverance, discipline, self-acceptance, love and detachment. Their have been stages of thinking I knew so much to learning that I knew so little. To wanting to quit, stopping and starting, trying new things, the grass being greener.
I have had students pass through, pass on, become angry. I’ve had students stick around and witnessed them going through the layers of suffering. I’ve watched what appeared as miracles yet were the results of patience and practice.
When I heard that Sir had passed, I needed to feel and seek solace within. I didn’t know that I was as deeply touched forever by his kind spirit. Though the teachings will continue through the writings and people he has taught, I am grateful to have been in his space, heard his words, felt his energy.
My students will continue to share in those teachings as I transmit what I have digested and integrated into my being.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
