Bee n Flower, Costa Rica

“The flower doesn’t dream of the bee. It blossoms and the bee comes.” Mark Nepo

 Relationships are the touchstone of human interaction. Patanjali

Relationships have been the highlight of my life–my partner, kids, family, friends, students–as well as the biggest stress possible. It’s one of the main parts of our lives that we don’t get training for. 

In nature, there are 3 types of relationships: mutualism (win-win) like in my pic of the bee and flower, commensalism (one party wins and the other party is along for the ride i.e.a spider building a web in a plant so the spider has shelter but the plant just has visitor),
Mitchy with a pretend flea-I just wanted to show him off.

and finally there’s parasitism (one party wins and the other party is harmed i.e. dog with a flea).

Why the Bio lesson? I would suggest that most of us want win-win relationships although we might choose a commensalistic relationship if we are in need of help or want to support another. Even though parasitic relationships exist with humans, most of us don’t strive for them. 

So, how do we develop healthy relationships?

Well, I learned many things from my birth family about being in relationship-some good and helpful like honesty, love and integrity-some not so helpful sarcasm and  fear.

Many wise people say that to have a healthy relationship with someone else, we need to start with ourselves. I agree.

“How?” you ask. With Meditation.

You will find a short, guided meditation on my website homepage. Be careful. I hear it puts people to sleep.

How can meditation help us with relationships?
1. When we meditate regularly, we know what we want and need more clearly.
2. We are more centered and peaceful.
3. We are less stressed and less anxious.
4. We are better able to understand other people through our understanding of ourselves.
5. The brain develops differently when we meditate. The gap between feeling and thinking fills in.
6. We are generally more present and able to be in the moment.
7. Meditation increases our connection to our creativity-helping with problem solving amongst other things.
8. Meditators are more comfortable with themselves.
9. Meditation helps us to sleep better.
10.Meditation lowers blood pressure, increases your immunity and boosts your thinking ability.
With all of those changes, you are better able to interact with others.

If you are interested in developing a personal meditation practice, I am offering an online course that begin November 1st. The course is for beginners who have never meditated and intermediates who want to create time, space and technique to meditate regularly with guidance and support. Click here for more information.

Let me know if you have any questions below. Stay tuned for more information and tips on meditation.